英语和汉语表达有区别,如果在新托福写作中套汉语思维,就是中式化英语的表现。这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘。所以考生在平时阅读英语材料和练习写作时,要注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别,切忌在托福写作备考中硬套汉语思维。
1. Original: If we agree to say that school offers usthe best book knowledge acquisition then oursociety offers us the best surviving techniques in ahard way.
Revised: If we agree that school offers the bestmethod for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method foracquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
Agree to say that表达中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为thebest method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的最好方法)更为恰当,同样,后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring commonsense...;加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的词汇增添色彩。
2. Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve theirrole as a mother, wifes and daughter.
Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order toimprove themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化,不符合英语的表述,应该为studying,educating themselves。除了词语表达,此句中还存在其他问题,如名词单复数的使用:不是提高他们的角色,而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。还有,女性不止一个人。
很多人都在扮演母亲角色,role和mother应用复数,故将improve their role as a mother改为improvethemselves in their roles as mother;同样,为保持一致,wife和daughter也可用复数,原文中wife的复数写法有误,应该是wives。
3. Original:If you can get the point of communication by watching TV,will you...?
Revised:If one can learn about communicating from television,will you...?
原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清,让人难以理解,应该是指“从电视上学习交际”:learn about communicating from television.
想了解更多托福相关信息,欢迎咨询优择官网客服或拨打咨询热线:400-0341-885,也可以加入优择托福QQ群:365589895,我们有专业名师团队对提出的问题进行一一解答,为您提供最优质的服务。